5 US Services

U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH
” I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that at least twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small yachts during the worst of natures storms, and receive no thanks or notice form the public. I will fly in helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber then rocks, and then be heckled by the same people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later.! I will prevent thousands of gallons of pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won’t allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean. I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless. I will come in contact with so many pollutants during my tenure, I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to myself as “salty” because of it. I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD.

____________________
Signature
____________________
Date

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
” I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn’t hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of “Basic Training”, I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!”
____________________
Signature
____________________
Date

US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
” I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my otherwise mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn’t score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I’m not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won’t take me because I can’t swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can’t figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual…..er…..I mean “Basic Training,” I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to “COMPANY.” I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job up! on separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can’t pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!”
_____________________
Signature
_____________________
Date

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
” I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too “corporate,” because I didn’t want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, “Hey, I like to swim…why not?” I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer,! and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like “deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head,” when I really mean “floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet.” I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound “colleagues.” So Help Me Neptune!”
______________________
Signature
______________________
Date

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
” I, (pick a name the police won’t recognize), swear..uhhhh….high-and-tight…. grunt… cammies….kill….fix bayonets….charge….slash….dig….burn….blow up….ugh…Air Force women….beer…..sailors wives…..air strikes….yes SIR!….whiskey….liberty call….salute….Ooorah Gunny….grenades…women….OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!” X____________________
Thumb Print
XX _________________________________
Teeth Marks
_____________________
Date

__________________

Don’t sign incorrect official documents with the promise/plan to fix it later, simply because you are in a hurry. Slow down and do it right the first time or pitch a professional argument until your enlistment contract you are suppose to sign is correct and states everything you were promised!

* No one cares more about your career (or benefits) than you.
* If it is not on paper, it doesn’t exist.
* If you do not have a copy, it doesn’t exist.

______________________________________________________________________________

The Associated Press
Posted : Monday Jun 16, 2008 8:48:28 EDT

HONOLULU – Two Hawaii 18-year-olds claim a Navy recruiting officer promised them they would be able to get a free, four-year college education before going off to sea. But Cory Miyasato and Joseph Mauga Jr. soon found out they would be going off to boot camp and then full-time active duty, scrubbing and painting ships.

“The full-ride scholarship really interested me,” said Miyasato, an honor student. “I am a very trusting person. I thought the U.S. government would be truthful to me.”

They didn’t find out the truth until they had already enlisted in the Navy’s Delayed Entry Program on May 29.

The military is under pressure to keep producing fresh troops, and Hawaii recruiters are expected to produce 30 new enlistees for the Navy this month, said Petty Officer 1st Class David McKee, a spokesman for the Navy Recruiting Station Los Angeles, which includes Hawaii.

The recruiter, Petty Officer 1st Class Jimmy Pecadeso, will be investigated, McKee said.

“Nobody should be railroaded into buying a car, a house or joining the military under false pretenses by being misled,” McKee said. “When it comes out that a recruiter has misled an applicant, it reflects poorly on all recruiters and the Navy and the military. The military does take this seriously.”

Both Miyasato and Mauga can opt out of enlistment with no penalty before going to basic training, McKee said. Their families are seeking immediate discharges and written assurances that the boys’ careers won’t be affected.

They were about to graduate and had already enrolled at local colleges when Pecadeso signed them up.

Miyasato’s mother, Jayne Arasaki, was skeptical of Pecadeso’s pledges, so she met with him at the recruiting station.

“He did lie to me,” she said. “He said the Navy would pay for four years of college, and then Cory would be obligated to serve four years.”

The day after she met Pecadeso, he picked up both boys and paid for them to spend the night at an airport hotel, saying they needed to get an early start on medical testing and security clearance at Pearl Harbor.

He promised to have them back by noon, but they weren’t returned until nearly 24 hours later, late for graduation practice. Both of their mothers tried to reach them by phone, but their cell phones were confiscated on base as a security measure.

“They were just going to see what they had to offer,” said Gloria Mauga. “I did not know my child was going to come back enlisted. They couldn’t even call to ask us advice. It’s like they kidnapped our sons.”

There were 2,456 claims of recruiter “irregularities” among 22,000 recruiters and nearly 318,000 new enlistees in 2006, according to the U.S. State Department. Most problems involved “concealment, falsification or undue influence.” About one in five claims was substantiated.

You can comment on this article or ask questions of the staff in our Scuttlebutt Forums, under Recruiting.

Source: Navy Times